THE ATLANTA HAWKEYESEST. 2026
Atlanta Hawkeyes — Because geography is hard for adults — t-shirt with wrong-way compass

THE ATLANTA HAWKEYES

Because geography is hard for some senators.
College Park's favorite Atlanta basketball team.

Hawks. Hawkeyes. Close enough. The most confused franchise in sports history — born September 29, 2026, when a U.S. Senator mixed up an Atlanta Hawks game with an Iowa Hawkeyes game. Wrong birds. Wrong city. We decided to just run with it.

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HOW A FRANCHISE IS BORN

On September 29, 2026, during a Senate hearing, Senator Eric Schmitt tried to corner former special counsel Jack Smith over supposedly attending an Atlanta Hawks game in Atlanta. There was just one problem: Smith had actually attended the Iowa Hawkeyes women's basketball game — in College Park, Maryland. Wrong birds. Wrong city.

The moment went viral. AP, The Washington Post, and Forbes all covered the Hawks/Hawkeyes mix-up. And somewhere in the confusion, a franchise was born: a team from Atlanta that plays in College Park, roots for the Hawks, flies with the Hawkeyes, and has been undefeated since yesterday.

Atlanta • Iowa • Maryland • It's complicated.

THE FIRST DROP

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First dibs on the drop, plus dispatches from the most geographically confused front office in sports. No spam — we're too busy figuring out what city we play in.